The sun was up in the sky scorching everything beneath it and not even the forest’s vegetation protected us from it. “If we don’t get water soon, I will melt like candlewax,” Beatrice complained while lifting our now-empty kibuyu, looking for drops of water. Bobobo The Fool panted loudly behind us, sounding like a dying elephant.
“We are going to die of heat exhaustion,” Beatrice said after being silent for a while, and then, out of nowhere the thundering sound of something collapsing cracked through Muige forest. “Bobobo!” Beatrice screamed and I stopped the bicycle and we rushed towards him.
For all the years I had known him, Bobobo did not speak, he simply groaned and granted when he approved or disapproved something. In Churo village and the drinking dens of Kabarnet town some said he had insulted his parents and they had cursed him with dumbness, while others insisted that his mouth had been stung by a swarm of bees while trying to eat honey straight from the beehive.
“Help me move him towards the shade,” I said to Beatrice, as Bobobo thrashed around groaning and granting while holding his throat. We tried with all our might but he did not budge. ‘The fool,’ I thought. ‘Too huge to be saved.’ There were big leaves beside us that resembled those of arrowroots. “Fan him with one of these leaves while I go look for water,” I told Beatrice.
“No, there’s no time,” Beatrice said while pulling down her panties. “God please forgive me,” I murmured while looking away and as I did I heard her filling up our kibuyu. When I looked back she was giving Bobobo her urine. “What are you doing woman?” My voice cracked. “I am giving him life,” Beatrice barked. I rushed towards her to knock the kibuyu from her hand. But just before I did Bobobo started coughing, groaning, and granting. The color seemed to return to his face, and the strength to his body.
He held the kibuyu and chugged it until it was empty and we resumed our journey. “Look at him, fresh like a newborn calf,” Beatrice said impressed with herself from the passenger seat of the bicycle. “Call it the kiss of life, or is it the piss of life?” she added and giggled. “If I don’t shower soon, arrowroots will start growing on my body,” she said after being silent for a while.
It wasn’t long after that when we heard the sounds of a river from a distance. We left the dirt road and ventured deep into the vegetation. I could not cycle through it and we were all on foot. After a kilometer, I started thinking we had heard our own things. After five of them, I started thinking this was a bad idea when a waterfall opened before us out of nowhere like a miracle.
We drank our fill and filled our kibuyu and just when I thought we would be heading back, Beatrice undressed and jumped into the water. “Join me Katana, the water is so nice,” she said excitedly. “It’s not a sin if I have given you permission,” she added, her nipples staring daggers at me.
“Watch over her,” I told Bobobo The Fool and left him with her. I had spent enough time with him to realize that he had a certain affection for both of us. If anything, it was Bobobo who needed protection from Beatrice.
I came back holding two wild rabbits and some forest herbs and found Beatrice and Bobobo seated next to a fire. “Took you long enough,” Beatrice complained as she grabbed the rabbits from my hand and started skinning them with my pocket knife.
We roasted the rabbits over the fire with the herbs and after they were ready we shared one with Beatrice and Bobobo finished the other by himself, as if it were a piece of chicken, and immediately collapsed into slumber.
“How big do you think he is?” Beatrice asked while staring at him. “I bet he can split a woman in half with his thing,” she added and giggled. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m just saying what you’re already thinking. Besides, I like my men intelligent. I need my mind to be stimulated before the party can start,” she added, yawned, and fell asleep.
The sun had long gone to bed and I was getting ready to follow it there. When I heard something in the bushes. ‘Not again,’ I thought, when five men, carrying crude weapons immerged. One glance and I instantly knew they were the famous Muige forest cannibals I had been hearing about since my childhood.